Description
Read Liu’s short essay about the meaning of friend(ship) and consider how social media has re-constructed the meaning of friends, friendship and even the act of (be)friending someone. Consider the following questions as you perform your analysis and reflection:What is Xinran Liu’s main argument about the definition of friendship?Do you think social media has influenced our perception of friendship and even how we define the terms? Explain.Do you consider your online contacts/followers your friends? Why? Why not?How many of your online ‘friends’ are also offline friends?
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Fr e d
: the Cha
Def
o of
Fr e dsh
he Soc a Med a Era
JOYCE XinRAn liU
March 6, 2014
In just two months, I boosted my LinkedIn connections rom 300 to almost
500. I was proud o winning the numbers game. However, recently when I
was trying to request an in ormational interview via LinkedIn, I was
depressed that less than 5% actually responded to me. I think I know most
o them, but I actually don’t. Or they don’t think so. Maybe this is social
media’s ault. It creates the illusion o intimacy and closeness that doesn’t
actually exist. Maybe I should blame mysel . I rushed to think o my social
media connections as true riends that I could rely on.
I orgot the rules o riendship. Social media is a new plat orm or communication that expands and accelerates the way we connect and engage
people, but the old rules o thumb or building relationships are still there.
To understand what makes a riend a “ riend” in social media, we’d better
step back and think about the chemistry needed in true riendship (sans
social media).
To make a true riend, we irst need to get to know the person well,
such that we understand what she likes and dislikes, what experiences
have made her who she is today, and what her values are in li e. Yet knowing someone does not guarantee a lasting riendship. For example, some
people know their boss pretty well, yet they may not de ine their boss as a
riend. In addition to knowing each other well, building riendships takes
time; it’s necessary or both sides to have some investment in the
relationship.
Now let’s get back to the world o social media and reconsider the process o making riends. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and many other social
Joyce Xinran Liu is a graduate in Integrated Marketing Communications at Northwestern University’s Medill School. She posted this piece on a blog called Vitamin IMC, a site
developed by the graduate students in the program to “educate marketers, potential students and companies about integrated marketing communications — what it is, how it’s
applied and how it builds pro it within organizations.”
208
Cha pt er 9
Arguments of Definition
209
media plat orms have provided tons o personal in ormation — both ongoing and historical — about people we want to know. For example, we can
gain insights into someone’s social li e and interests through Facebook,
get up-to-the-minute status updates rom Twitter, and read someone’s
ull pro essional experience on LinkedIn. A ive-minute search on a social
media plat orm can make us eel that we are old riends o the person we
want to make riends with. But this is only one side o the story since the
person we are searching into may not eel the same way as we do. This is
o ten the case. A one-way connection without reciprocal engagement can
never be thought o as a riendship, even on social media.
When acquaintances share their joys, complaints or even private
in ormation on social media, does it mean that they deem all o these
online connections as real riends? Probably not. But why share their private in ormation then? My argument is that they sacri ice their privacy in
exchange or intimacy. Some people may want to make more riends,
attract more attention, or even enhance sel -esteem with the in lated intimacy they receive rom riends, acquaintances and mere strangers on
social media. These shared social media updates make people eel close,
but it doesn’t always mean they are close.
It’s not social media’s ault that it helps us develop a wide net o connections, yet still leaves us wanting more. We’ve created the myth o
building strong relationships via social media. It’s possible to build riendship online, but more o ten we need to integrate online engagement with
o line interaction. Overall, social media has changed ways people interact with each other, but it has not a ected the rooted norms and socialization process o making riends either online or o line. And it’s time to
adjust our expectations or building relationships in this new media
space.
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