Description
Discussion: I Don’t Know What To Say
Instructions
Each student should post once on this discussion in response to the prompt. To get full credit, make sure you answer all of the questions in the prompt. Do more than just the bare minimum– don’t just answer each question, but put some thought or explanation into the answers. Each student should also reply to two different students. Make sure your replies are at least three sentences long. They should not just say “Good post” or “I agree” but should include a reason why the post is good or reasons why you agree. Try to reply to other posts that haven’t gotten very many replies. Make sure your posts thoroughly address the posted prompt. Your initial post is due by Monday 1/22 at 11:59 PM and your two replies are due by Wednesday 1/24 at 11:59 PM.
Topic
Part A
Before posting on this Discussion Board, please read through this description of grief from “An old guy” on Reddit. Reflect on what you read.
The “old guy” writes:
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while all you can do is float. Stay Alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything… and the waves comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and its different for everybody, you find the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow, you will again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow, you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.” (Reddit, 2014)
In your initial post, please address the following questions:
Is this an accurate description of grief, in your experience?
What is an example of a “piece of wreckage” that you have or could hold onto?
How does reading this help someone who is grieving (if at all?)
Part B
In addition, read over the helpful tips in the module. In your initial post, please answer the following questions:
List
Three things you can do to help someone who is grieving
Answer the following question in two or more sentences: What is something on the list that I think would have actually helped me when I was grieving and why? OR, if you have not experienced any significant grief, what is something on the list that you think would actually help and why?
Remember to answer all questions in your post.
Grading for Discussions
A portion of your grade is based on participation on Canvas discussions. Much of the course material that you will be tested on is delivered through written lectures. To better understand that material you must regularly read and contribute to Canvas discussions. This process will help you master the course material and prepare for quizzes and exams. In addition to posting your own comments, you must reply to at least two other students’ posts for each discussion. Discussions are worth 20 points: 10 for your initial post and 5 for your first two replies. In order to receive full points, you must follow the instructions above.
Civility in Discussions
Although you are encouraged to share your point of view freely, when posting to any discussion, you must remain civil. We all know how easy it is to say something online that you wouldn’t say in person. Please think twice and don’t post anything hurtful to anyone. Since we will be discussing communication, people may share things that are personal and there is a good chance that you are going to read comments that you don’t agree with. Any sort of hostility, insults and name calling do little to communicate ideas and have strongly negative effects on our efforts to learn. Let’s start with kindness and compassion and treating each other with respect.
Alexis:
After reading the “Old Guy”. I feel his description of grief is accurate. From my experience of grief, I have felt waves of emotions as the years go by and the day of that loved one’s death can be very difficult. An example of a piece of wreckage for me would be photographs. An actual photograph that I can hold in my hand is what I like to return to. I think this article may help someone who is grieving by letting them know grieving is ok and natural. It is a hard thing to go through and there are people around you that love you. PART BThree things I could do to help someone grieving are listen to them, offer supportive things to help with like bringing over food, and let them know I care for them and I am here for them if they need me. What is something on the list that I think would have actually helped me when I was grieving and why? Something that could have helped me in a recent loss of my grandma would have been for my close family to give me time to actually grieve. I felt like they expected me to just move on with life and get back to the normal tasks of life. i.e, cooking, cleaning, etc Although losing my grandma was not a sudden loss, It still is a loss and it would have been nice to take a lil time to grieve without the expectations of family.
MARCELA :
Part A: In my experience, his description of grief is accurate. I believe this because when you are grieving, everything reminds you of the person you have lost. I have myself experienced this before. This can be anything like the old guy said, it can be as little as a photograph or the day the person passed away. As someone who has experienced losing a friend, I have felt the waves of emotion that come by as the days go by. An example of a “piece of wreckage” that I have is a piece of photograph. This is an old photograph that me and the person had taken together. Reading this can be helpful to someone who is grieving since the paragraph tells you that you will survive the grief you go through and that grieving is a normal part of life.Part B: These are three things I can do to support someone who is grieving: offer to help as much as I can, such as deliver food, assist with housework, or even go shopping for them. One more thing is to accept their loss and allow time for them to grieve. Everybody recovers differently and at a different rate. Thirdly, offer hope. For instance, “Grieve for as long as you need to, but you are a strong person, and you will find your way through this.” I believe that giving myself more time to grieve is something on the list that would have helped me when I lost my friend. Everyone else around me was pushing me to move on, so I felt rushed into my grieving. I think I needed a lot more time than I had in order to come to terms with the loss and move on with my life.
