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English 1121: College Writing and Critical Reading
19% of final grade
Paper #1—Personal Narrative
The assignment: Write about a significant experience, a time when you learned something important
about yourself, about another person, or about life. This must be your personal experience; this is personal
narrative.
The audience: Your readers do not know you. They should be able to read your paper to visualize the
moment and learn about the significance of this experience.
What to do: Choose a specific event that lends itself to interesting storytelling like the pressure-filled
school experience in “Shame” by Dick Gregory or Annie Dillard’s vivid account of being chased in “The
Chase” in your Mercury Reader. You must “recreate [the] experience so that readers can actually feel what it
was like to be alive at that moment in the writer’s life” (The Call to Write 158). Be sure that you “show”
rather than “tell” your readers about this event through use of vivid description, details, dialogue, simile,
metaphor, and other writing strategies. The stories you’ll read in the Mercury Reader are great examples of
personal narratives. Be an interesting storyteller!
What not to do: Avoid writing about experiences that lead to the cliché, such as high school graduation,
getting your driver’s license, a date with a boyfriend/girlfriend, Christmas, and other holiday gatherings.
Avoid writing about playing a video game or virtual interactive game. Do not write about an event that
covers several years, such as your grade school basketball career. Do not plagiarize or use AI for this
assignment.
Your final draft should:
– be narrowly focused on a specific event
– be well developed
– be effectively organized
– be interesting
– utilize vivid description
– use required writing strategies: simile/ metaphor, listing, repetition, advanced sentence structure,
dialogue, etc.
– have clear autobiographical significance
– have an effective beginning and ending
– be carefully edited
Format and style guidelines—the final draft of the paper must:
– be a minimum of four complete pages in length, typed, and double-spaced
– use Times or Garamond 12 point font and follow MLA guidelines for style (such as one-inch
margins, no extra space between paragraphs, etc.)
– be turned in as required in the proper folder in “Assignments” under “Assessments” in D2L with
narrating strategies marked appropriately in Microsoft Word:
o underline all your use of repetition, listing, calendar/clock time, and temporal transitions.
o
o
bold all of your similes and metaphors.
highlight in yellow all of your advanced sentence structure.
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A Few Tips on How to Be Successful in English 1121
Successful Students:
1. Log in to D2L frequently, paying close attention to assignment requirements, deadlines, and
required reading.
2. Are prepared. Have books, computer access, and other required materials.
3. Ask questions of the instructor and classmates when confused. Communicate with the instructor
in the Individual Discussion Area, waiting 24 hours for a response weekdays and expecting a
response on Monday for questions asked over the weekend.
4. Are positive and self-motivated, keeping up with reading, homework, and papers.
5. Participate actively in discussion, peer group workshopping, editing, and other opportunities. They
communicate clearly and illustrate comprehension of course materials and discussion.
6. Take advantage of free services on campus, like the Academic Support Center/Tutoring Services.
7. Let the instructor know of emergency situations as they occur.
8. Carefully follow assignment instructions and exceed minimum page numbers for papers.
9. Respect the writing process, revising drafts substantially and editing carefully, turning in work they
have written.
10. Participate actively in class discussion, meaning they comment with insightful comments and also
respect the opinions of others and offer others a chance to speak.
Unsuccessful Students:
1. Log in to D2L sporadically/infrequently. Students who have long periods between logins are more
likely to fail.
2. Are unprepared. They wait to get books and course materials or fail to get them.
3. Remain silent when confused rather than reaching out to the instructor and classmates or panics
and sends numerous emails/phone calls in a row rather than posting in the Individual Discussion
Area and waiting for a response.
4. Have a negative attitude and/or procrastinate with reading, homework, and papers.
5. Show a lack of participation and respect for classmates and instructor by failing to work in peer
groups, failing to respond,
6. Don’t take advantage of campus services and/or extra credit opportunities.
7. Wait or fail to tell the instructor about emergency situations.
8. Don’t follow assignment instructions and turn in the minimum or less than the minimum
regarding assignment requirements.
9. Ignore the writing process, revising minimally and editing carelessly, or turning in plagiarized/AI
created work
10. Act impulsively and irresponsibly regarding communication with classmates and instructor or are
disrespectful or negative.
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Show vs. Tell: What does it mean?
Showing rather than telling is a way to produce vivid writing. It is true that writers who tell and
writers who show may both be equally earnest and sincere in their attempts to explain events to the reader.
The difference between the two is that showing helps the reader see, feel, taste, smell, and experience what
you are writing through rich description, specific details, and creative metaphors. Writing that shows moves
beyond the ordinary to become writing that is vivid and interesting. For example, compare the following
passages:
Telling:
• He crossed the street.
•
•
•
•
Showing:
• Standing for a moment on the edge of the
pavement to adjust his cap—the cleanest
thing about him—he looked casually to the
left and right and, when the flow of traffic
had eased off, crossed the road.
-Allan Stilltoe
•
Varner looked at him sharply, the reddish
eyebrows beetling a little above the hard little
eyes.
-William Faulkner
•
It was a bright, cold day, the ground covered
with a sleet that had frozen so that it seemed
as if all the bare trees, the cut brush and all
the grass and the bare ground had been
varnished with ice.
-Ernest Hemingway
•
Eva, shy and chinless, straining her upper lip
over two enormous teeth, would sit in
corners watching her mother.
-Katherine Anne Porter
•
A bus arrived. It discharged its passengers,
closed its doors with a hiss and disappeared
over the crest of a hill. Not one of the
people waiting at the bus stop had attempted
to board. One woman wore a sweater that
was too small, a long skirt, white sweater
socks, and house slippers. Another man
wore shoes with the toes cut out, a soiled
blue serge jacket and brown pants. There
was something wrong with these people.
They made faces. A mouth smiled at
nothing and unsmiled, smiled and unsmiled.
A head shook in vehement denial. Most of
them carried brown paper bags rolled tightly
against their stomachs.
-E.L. Doctorow
Varner had a weird look.
It was freezing outside that day.
She was a shy girl.
Each morning I ride the bus and wait with
the other people. Sometimes the bus is late
and we get angry. Some guys start fights just
to have something to do. I’m always glad
when the bus comes.
Portions adapted from Gray and Caplan, Theory and Practice in the Teaching of Composition. NCTE.
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Clichés to avoid—these are just a few!
Faster than a speeding bullet
Butterflies in my stomach
Hit me like a ton of bricks
All good things come to those that wait
Red as a rose
Black as the night
White as snow
Sweet as candy
Light as a feather
Heavy as lead
Every cloud has a silver lining
There is a light at the end of the tunnel
Every rose has its thorn
There are plenty more fish in the sea
Haste makes waste
If you can’t beat them, join them
Hot as hell
Cold as ice
Crystal clear
Pleased as punch
Mad as hell
Beating a dead horse
Chip off the old block
When all is said and done
In the twinkling of an eye
Afraid of his own shadow
Take it or leave it
You could hear a pin drop
Happy as a clam
Blind as a bat
Clean as a whistle
Busy as a beaver
Drunk as a skunk
Free as a bird
Bald as an eagle
American as apple pie
Easy as pie
Like a kid in a candy store
Thin as a rail
Dry as a bone
Fit as a fiddle
Straight as an arrow
At a snail’s pace
I know this place like the back of my hand
stick out like a sore thumb
smile from ear to ear
grinning from ear to ear
play your cards right
low-hanging fruit
if you play your cards right
ignorance is bliss
love is blind
what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
the grass is always greener on the other side
the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
she cried a single tear
at the speed of light
ugly as sin
a diamond in the rough
nerves of steel
time flies
opposites attract
haste makes waste
the writing’s on the wall
head over heels in love
what goes around comes around
laughter is the best medicine
frightened/scared to death
misery loves company
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Famous Novels—Great First Lines
Having an opening line or two that grab your reader’s attention is crucial for making a reader want to continue. Frequently
a student’s first draft opening paragraph is cut (or possibly even the first couple of paragraphs). Don’t tell your reader what
you’ll write about or give away too much of the story; if you do, your reader won’t be compelled to keep reading! These are
some opening lines to famous novels. Consider the ways these line are startling, interesting, and compelling.
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
—1984 by George Orwell
“In the town there were two mutes, and they were always together.”
–The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . .”
–A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of
three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.”
–Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
“Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting.”
–The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and
what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all
that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”
–The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
“I had the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a
different story.”
–Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in
my mind ever since.”
–The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
“When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow.”
–To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
“The story had held us, round the fire, sufficiently breathless, but except the obvious remark that it was
gruesome, as, on Christmas Eve in an old house, a strange tale should essentially be, I remember no
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comment uttered till somebody happen to say that it was the only case he had met in which such a
visitation had fallen on a child.”
–The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
“He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf stream and he had gone 84 days now
without taking a fish.”
–The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
“It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I
was doing in New York.”
–The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
“124 was spiteful.”
–Beloved by Toni Morrison
“All children, except one, grow up.”
–Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
“The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way towards
the lagoon.”
–The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
‘Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant
afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
–One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“We slept in what had once been a gymnasium.”
–The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
“I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice—not because of his voice, or because he was the
smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother’s death, but because he
is the reason I believe in God; I am a Christian because of Owen Meany.”
–A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
“Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody
else, these pages must show.”
—The Personal History of David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
“These are the times that try men’s souls.”
–The Crisis by Thomas Paine
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English 1121
Personal Narrative—Paper #1
An “A” paper for this assignment will:
be fresh and lively, descriptive and detailed. The writing will be excellent overall and will far exceed the
minimum requirements for the assignment. The focus of the paper will be narrow enough to allow the
author to place the reader firmly inside an interesting story. The author will successfully use dialogue,
simile, metaphor, and other narrating strategies to show rather than tell about the events and to convey the
significance of the experience. The writing will be advanced stylistically and will appeal to the senses. The
paper will be organized, will follow MLA format, and there will be few to no spelling, punctuation, or
grammatical errors. It will make the reader say, “Wow!”
A “B” paper will:
have descriptive and detailed writing. The writing will be above average and will exceed the minimum
requirements for the assignment. The paper will have a narrow focus and will be interesting. The author
will use dialogue, simile, metaphor, and other narrating strategies to show the events and the significance
of the event will be clear. The writing may not be as fresh, descriptive, or stylistic as the “A” paper, but it
will be organized, will follow MLA format, and there will be few spelling or grammatical errors.
A “C” paper will:
have some descriptive and detailed writing, but it could most likely be expanded to show rather than tell.
The writing will meet the minimum requirements of the assignment, including length. The focus may be
able to be more specific. The paper will use some dialogue, simile, metaphor, and other narrating
strategies. The paper may have some organizational problems and/or some spelling, punctuation, or
grammatical errors. Oftentimes C papers show little revision.
A “D” paper will:
lack descriptive and detailed writing. It may barely meet or not quite meet the minimum requirements of
the assignment. It may not meet the length requirement. There could be problems with focus,
organization, development, punctuation, and grammar.
An “F” paper will:
not be descriptive and detailed. It will not meet the minimum requirements of the assignment, may not
meet the length requirement, and will have problems with some of the following: focus, organization,
development, punctuation, and grammar.
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Revision To Do List
Be sure to revise your paper a great deal between first and final draft. Here’s a list of
“To Dos”:
1. REVISE, REVISE, REVISE!
2. Make sure that you use simile and metaphor. Remember to avoid clichés!
3. Find a place where you can use repetition, but remember that it should not be a random place. It
should be where you want to stress a point to your reader.
4. Use listing in at least two places to add detail to your paper. Remember that the first part of the
sentence before the dash or colon needs to be a complete sentence.
a. The room was a disaster zone of clutter—broken bottles, ripped magazines, old pizza
boxes, and dirty laundry.
5. Look at your beginning and be able to label it. What kind of a beginning is it?
6. Describe the people in your paper in descriptive, yet concise ways. (Do not describe them in
blocks of data: “Brian was 5 feet 10 inches tall, about 160 pounds, and had brown hair and blue
eyes.)
7. Make sure that you use dialogue somewhere in your paper. Strive to use it well like David
Sedaris and Sherman Alexie. Remember that the punctuation goes inside the quotation marks,
and there should always be a period after your speaker tag (she said).
a. “Hey! What are you doing? You’re going to get into a ton of trouble,” he yelled as the
red convertible sped away in a cloud of dust.
8. Throughout the paper, show instead of tell. Create images by being descriptive.
9. Eliminate any use of “you” that isn’t in a direct quote.
10. Do you meet the length requirement? You must have a minimum of four complete pages (3
pages and two paragraphs are NOT four pages!). If you do not, you will not receive a C.
Revise and show some more.
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