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Discussion Board #6
Part One: Initial Post due no later than Thursday, November 9 at 11:59pm
Part Two: Responses to Classmates due no later than Sunday, November 12 at 11:59pm
This week, we have learned about the processes of Communication, Perception, and Listening. This information, combined with gaining an understanding of our Self Concept, helps us begin to establish a foundation for developing greater awareness of how much our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us impact our experiences.
For this week’s Discussion Board post, please think about and respond to the three questions below. Write in a way that encourages your reader to reflect and be motivated to engage with you in a discussion. Be thorough by supporting your assertions with evidence, making direct reference to course concepts, and using course terminology throughout. You may have noticed there are no quizzes or exams, these posts are partially the method of evaluation that has taken their place. As you write your responses, keep in mind that you want to “showcase” your knowledge as you would on an exam.
Guidelines: Once you have made your original post (500 word minimum, but you are encouraged to write more!), please respond to no fewer than two of your classmates (150 word minimum per response). You are encouraged to engage with more than just two of your classmates AND to come back several times throughout the week as the conversation between you and your classmates unfold. Please do not include the prompts, your name, or a header, simply number your responses and write your response. The first sentence after the number should be the start of your response.
Part One: Respond to the following two Discussion Questions:
How does deep listening benefit both the speaker and the listener? Please read The Art of Listening. ActionsAfter you have read and thought about this article, write about two messages from the article that were particularly meaningful to you and explain why. How do these messages relate to what you learned this week in the readings?
Watch the following Tedx San Diego video featuring William Ury, one of the world’s best-known and most influential experts on negotiation. In your opinion, what are the two most important messages he shares in this talk? Why were these messages particularly important to you? How do these messages relate to what you learned this week in the readings?
Part Two: Engage in a discussion with the classmates in your discussion group using the following 3CQ format (Compliment – “I liked that…”, Connect – “Something else I read this week that addresses what you are talking about was…”, or “I experienced something like that when…”, Comment – “what I would add to your post is that…”, “I came to a different conclusion on this because…”, and Question – “I wonder why…”, “what might happen if…”, “I’m curious what you think about…”. Make sure your responses add meaningfully to the discussion and help move it along.
Please use the attached rubric by clicking on the three dots in the upper right corner to help you earn the best possible grade
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Art of Listening
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Tell Me More…On the Fine Art of Listening
I came across this great essay by Brenda Ueland many years ago, and have handed it out to new Saturday Salon
participants every since. It really expresses the power of listening. It sets the stage for your conversation salon, so
that everyone isn’t just sitting there waiting for their turn to talk. Thanks to Holy Cow Press, you get to see it here and
in the book in its entirety:
I want to write about the great and powerful thing that listening is. And how we forget it. And how we don’t listen to
our children, or those we love. And least of all, which is so important too, to those we do not love. But we should.
Because listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. Think how the friends that really listen to us are
the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius as though it did us good, like ultraviolet rays.
This is the reason: When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow
within us and come to life. You know how if a person laughs at your jokes you become funnier and funnier, and if he
does not, every tiny little joke in you weakens and dies. Well, that is the principle of it. It makes people happy and free
when they are listened to. And if you are a listener, it is the secret of having a good time in society (because
everybody around you becomes lively and interesting), of comforting people, of doing them good.
Who are the people, for example, to whom you go for advice? Not to the hard, practical ones who can tell you exactly
what to do, but to the listeners, that is, the kindest, least censorious, least bossy people that you know. It is because
by pouring out your problem to them, you then know what to do about it yourself.
When we listen to people there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each
other. We are constantly being re-created. Now there are brilliant people who cannot listen much. They have no
ingoing wires on their apparatus. They are entertaining, but exhausting, too. I think it is because these lecturers,
these brilliant performers, by not giving us a chance to talk, do not let us express our thoughts and expand, and it is
this little creative fountain inside us that begins to spring and cast up new thoughts and unexpected laughter and
wisdom. That is why, when someone has listened to you, you go home rested and lighthearted.
Now this little creative fountain is in us all. It is the spirit, or the intelligence, or the imagination, whatever you want to
call it. It is when people really listen to us, with quiet fascinated attention that the little fountain begins to work again,
to accelerate in the most surprising way.
Before going to a party, I tell myself to listen with affection to anyone who talks to me, to be in their shoes when they
talk, to try to know them without my mind pressing against theirs or arguing, or being fascinating. My attitude is: Tell
me more. Show me your soul. It may be a little dry and meager and full of grinding talk just now, but presently he will
begin to think, not just automatically talk. He will show his true self. Then he will be wonderfully alive.
Unless you listen, people are wizened in your presence, they become about a third of themselves. Unless you listen,
you can’t know anybody. Listening is love, that’s what it really is. The tragedy of parents and children is not listening,
as it is with husbands and wives. And the most serious result of not listening is that worst thing in the world, boredom,
for it is really the death of love.
In order to learn to listen, here are some suggestions: Try to learn tranquility, to live in the present a part of the time
every day. Then suddenly you begin to hear not only what people are saying, but what they are trying to say, and you
sense the whole truth about them. Then watch your self-assertiveness. And give it up. One must really listen. Only
then does the magic begin.
Sometimes people cannot listen because they think that unless they are talking, they are socially of no account.
There are those women with an old-fashion attitude that insist there must be unceasing vivacity and gyrations of talk.
But this is really a strain on people.
No. We should all know this: that listening, not talking, is the gifted and great role, and the imaginative role. And the
true listener is much more beloved, magnetic than the talker, and he is more effective, and learns more and does
more good. And so try listening. Listen to your wife, your husband, your father, your mother, your children, your
friends, to those who love you and those who don’t, to those who bore you, to your enemies. It will work a small
miracle. And perhaps a great one.
Brenda Ueland
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