Description
Facial expressions and eye behavior (oculesics) often aid in creating our initial impression of a person. If you think of a traditional business greeting: we shake hands and as we do so, we make eye contact and usually show some sort of pleasurable expression on our faces. Though the handshake may be going the “way of the dodo”, reading facial expressions and relying on eye contact certainly are not.With the advent of face masks during Covid-19, we learned to rely on oculesics more than ever. In this virus-fearful climate, the question of what happens to greetings has become a pressing topic. Perhaps the different greetings used in the world may be especially instructive at this moment. Take a look at the article in D2L under Readings entitled “Greetings and Beckonings” for an overview of what greetings and beckonings look like around the globe. Also read The New York Times article entitled “What Greetings Will Look Like in a Post Coronavirus World?” (I’ve uploaded a .pdf version). Consider what these articles suggest about greetings and what greetings may look like in the future. Also consider differences between the future described by the Times, and your own experience 3 1/2 years after the article was published.This prompt offers three questions. Please write a cohesive essay, breaking your thoughts into paragraphs. The discussion post should be 300 words minimum and not more than 500 words. (You will not be penalized for writing a long post, but be succinct.) You must THOUGHTFULLY respond to at least one other person’s discussion post in at least 100 words.This Discussion Post #2 and classmate response is due Tuesday, March 5th, by noon.What cultural display rules did you learn about facial expressions and eye contact growing up? What did you learn about “masking” your feelings? What did you specifically learn about how to greet people (Family? Friends? Strangers?)?After reading “Initiating Interaction: Greetings and Beckonings across the World” and “What Greetings Will Look Like in a Post Coronavirus World” as well as thinking on recent personal experiences, what suggestions do you have for how we should greet one another in the U.S. in the foreseeable future? Consider practicality and context (the difference among family, business setting, etc.) as part of your response. How do you think the general public would receive your ideas for greetings?
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What do you do when you say “hello” or beckon someone to come
closer? Do you think that people in other cultures use the sa~e
nonverbal behaviors to greet and beckon people that you do· f
you do, Axtell would tell you to think again. In this article, Axtell
reviews how people across the globe use different types of body
movement and touch to initiate interaction with one another. Many of
his observations are similar to those found by anthropolog ists and
psychologists who have studied cultural variation in gestures.
12
Initi atin g Inte ract ion
Gree tings and Beck onin gs
acros s the Worl d
Roger E. Axtell
Are greetings important? Consider this:
Item: In January 1994, a simple handshake was the subject of great
deliberation and discussion between two world leaders and U.S.
president Bill Clinton. The occasion was the history-mak ing accord
between Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat and Israeli prime minister
Yitzak Rabin. According to news reports, considerable discussion
occurred over if, when, and how the two leaders should shake hands
at the press announceme nt. Rabin was reticent, but Arafat was
eager. Rabin reportedly agreed when Arafat assured him there
would be no kissing of cheeks. Even then, via internationa l television, the world witnessed as Arafat made the first move with his
outstretched hand and Rabin exhibited momentary hesitation.
Adapted with author permission from Axtell, Gestures: Do’s and taboos of body language
a:ound the world. Copyright © 1998 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Reprinted with permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
109
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t o th e God in you .” It
also mean s “than k you”
and “I’m sorry.” In Thai-
land, this sa me gentle
and gracious gesture is
called the wai. Don ‘t get
carr ied away and lift the
pressed hands above the
head, however, or it could
be construed as an insult.
The exact origins of
both the handshake and
namaste are unclear. Citizens of the Roman empire
Figure 1 A man from India greeting a Westerner
greeted each other with a
with a namaste.
hand-and-forearm clasp,
but some anthropologists believe our handshake of today may be only a
couple hundred years old.
Whatever the genesis, the intent seems clear. Whether it’s the outstretched hand or the palms pressed together, each signal suggests
openness and a clear sign that the greeter is not carrying a weapon.
Some believe the hug or embrace originally had a similar purpose:
the assurance that no weapons were hidden beneath the flowing robes
worn from the time of the Egyptians through the Middle Ages.
Another sign of openness when we greet one another involves the
eyes and forehead. Anthropologists point out that when humans greet,
regardless of our nationality or race, we all open our eyes wider than
normal and wrinkle our foreheads. Since the eyebrows move upward,
this is often referred to as the “eyebrow flash. ” Both motions appear to
be instinctive and signal openness and are, therefore, a form of gr eeting.
There are other more exotic forms of greetings as well. In the Middle East, the older generation can still be seen giving the salaam. In
this signal, the r ight hand sweeps upward, first touching the heart,
then the forehead , and finally up and outward, perhaps with a slight
12–Axt ell
111
. are
. greetmg
(figure .2 ) · Tlle words that accomp any this
nod of.t hel h ead
,,
. you.”
salaam a aykum, meanm·g , a .pprop·
· n.a t e1y, “Peace be with
Fig ure 2
The salaam, a Middle Eastern greeting.
The Hollywo od movie industr y popular ized the stereoty pe of a
tall, bronze- skinned Americ an Indian standin g with palm upraise d,
saying “How.” As every Americ an schoolchild knows, that was the way
all Native Americ ans greeted the paleface d settlers. At least that is
what Hollywo od would have us believe. True or not, it is a fact that
commun ication betwee n differen t tribes of Native Americ ans and the
first white explore rs was solely through sign languag e. Therefo re, the
simple, raised palm as a form of greeting was critical to the explora tion
and opening of the U.S. West.
Greetin gs can also convey secret message s. On my last trip to the
Mediter ranean area, I was told that in many countrie s there, a greeting
among homose xual men is to shake hands in a very specific and hidden
manner : with the middle finger folded down into the palm.
Greetin gs can be downrig ht physical, too, to the point you may
want to wear a football helmet and shoulde r pads. Eskimo s greet each
other by banging the other party with a hand either on the head or
shoulde rs. Polynes ian men who are strange rs welcome each other by
embrac ing and then rubbing each other’s back.
The Maori tribespe ople in New Zealand choose even today to greet
each other with a gesture that seems to epitomi ze closenes s and friendship: they rub noses (figure 3). The Eskimo s use this same gesture , but
. .
with more persona l meanin g.
at each
spitting
by
other
Some East African tribes greet each
other’s feet. And for perhaps the most unusual and my~teri ous greeting, Tibetan tribesm en are said to greet each other qmte warmly by
sticking out their tongues at each other.
I
I
112
Part IJ – Nonve rbal Codes: Kinesic Cues
Let’s return to the
more familiar gesture of
greeting, the handshake.
While my father was drilling me with “Firm handshake, direct eye contact,”
fathers in the Middle East
were instructing their
sons, “When you shake
hands, a gentle grip is
appropriate. Don’t grip
Figure 3 The Maori greeting.
the hand firmly. A firm
grip suggests aggression.”
And in places like Japan and Korea, fathers were not only advocating
“Yes, gentle, not firm” but were adding “and try to avoid direct eye contact. Staring at someone is intimidating and disrespectful.”
Among North Americans and many Europeans, gripping a limp
hand is distasteful. They liken it to being weak and effeminate. A simile
often used is that it is like “grasping a dead fish.”
Some people believe Americans go too far in the other direction,
however. Prince Charles of England, who must be a connoisseur on
greetings by now, has complained of the finger-crunching grip of the
Americans. “Especially Texans,” he adds.
Handshakes can be either “gentle,” “firm,” or “Texan.” But there is
more than just hand pressure involved in the business of shaking hands.
In northern Europe, you are most likely to receive a curt, firm,
one pump handshake. Also, women and children there will customarily
extend their hand in greeting, whereas in parts of North America and
in the Far East, women will only occasionally take that initiative. The
same is true for children.
In Islamic countries, it is forbidden for unrelated men to touch
women, so men should never offer to shake hands with women there.
West African male friends will often add a snappy finish to a handshake
as follows: as they release the grip, each middle finger is pressed together
and then snapped abruptly into the fleshy pad below the thumb.
The French seem to be the most “handshakingest” of all. Visitors
remark on how the French seem to shake hands when greeting, when
departing, when returning . . . and repeat the custom each morning of
every day, no matter if the relationship is business or social. Author Peter
Mayle, in his engaging book A Year in Provence, explains that if a French~an ~appe~s to have soiled hands he will offer his forearm in greeting, or
if he is holdmg packages he will even extend a little finger to be grasped.
In South America, Bolivians win the title of “Greatest Greeters.”
Whenever two friends meet and chat, their greeting usually includes a
handshake and a hearty clap on the back.
12-Axtell
113
P~ychologists regard the handshake as one of the most powerful of
nil tactile contacts, so maybe there’s so mething to be learned from the
.French and the Bolivians.
In southern Europe and Central and South America, the handshake will usually be warmer and probably a bit longer, frequently
nccompanied by the left hand touching the other person’s forearm,
elbow, or even lapel.
A version popular in American politics is to shake hands using the
free hand to cover the grip. On the scale of warmth of a greeting, this
gesture supposedly adds several degrees of closeness and implied unity.
In Russia, good male friends, especially among the older generation, will start with a strong, firm handshake and then continue forward into the so-called bear hug so often identified with that country.
But, just to demonstrate that common customs do not necessarily cross
common boundaries, neighboring Finns firmly reject bear hugging.
“Don’t do it here,” they warn. “We don’t hug or kiss or have bodily contact with strangers as the Russians do.”
In Latin American countries, the hug is called the abrazo, which
means “embrace.” It is often accompanied by a couple of hearty claps
on the back (figure 4). Most North Americans, northern Europeans,
and Asians find any such touching or hugging very uncomfortable.
My first encounter with the Latin
abrazo occurred in the airport at Buenos
Aires, Argentina, when I was very new to
this game of gestures and greetings.
There to meet me, arms outstretched,
was the manager of our local company.
“My God,” I thought, “that man is going
to hug me!” My life seemed to pass before
my eyes. Walking forward stiffly, I forgot
that one must move the head either right
or left. We ended up smashing noses.
Now let us turn to that mo st courtly
of all greetings, the bow. Veteran tra~e~ers to Japan counsel, “When you visit
figure 4 Un abrazo (embrace).
Japan, keep your shoes shined ~t all
times since everyone will be lookmg at
b · ” I am often
‘
ean bow to a Japanese?” No,
E
them a lot when owmg.
American or urop
th
k
N
as ed, “Should a or
1. ht bow demonstrates that you
it is not absolutely necessary, but a s ihg e style and grace and courte. d
A din Japan w er
.
act ~ould surely be noted, appreciate ,
respect their customs .. n .
ousness are revered, this simpl~ k b t the subtle psychology of this
and probably remembered. Thm h a oultures to adopt our customs, or
b .
eet ot er cu
and all gestures. Do we ex.P ? This might translate to how usmess or
are we willing to adopt theirs ·
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